cooldadbutts: fffcuk: there are 9 calories in a tablespoon of sperm but only 0 calories in Diet Sperm™
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
meteoritememoirs: Christian from Moulin Rouge: Walk up to the club like what up I got a big talent
When someone tells me they love weddings
Hillary's How-Tos: How To Take A Shower →
hillaryshowtos: If you ask me, showering is a terrible chore. But, due to our American obsession with “cleanliness,” it is a necessity if you have any desire for human companionship. Before you begin the long and arduous task of showering, there are a couple of things to consider. First, did you shower… This is a thing I just decided to do in an attempt to be funny. Maybe I’ll be...
When my mom tells me she thought she would be a...
Hey tumblr. It’s been a hot minute. Having a lot of feels today, so this seemed like the place to go.
therealryanmurphy: Deleted scene: Mr Schuester and Jacob Ben Israel cut each other’s hair.
My vagina is like Mensa; if your IQ isn’t in the 98th percentile or higher, you can’t get in.
This is a serious question guys...
lolzkaban: In the Chamber of Secrets, when Harry uses Floo powder for the first time he says “diAHgnally”. Mr. Weasley CLEARLY hears him say this, because Molly asks him what Harry said after he’s gone. THERE ARE SIX OTHER WEASLEYS THERE WHY CAN’T THEY JUST SAY “diAHgnally” AND SEE WHERE THY COME OUT. COMMON SENSE.
me: maybe i should stop eating so much cookie dough the raw egg will make me sick
roommate: body builders eat raw eggs all the time
me: yeah that's why i eat cookie dough
me: i'm working on my body building
Daisy: I fucked up.
Charles: Yeah, but you gave it 100% effort.
have you ever thought about how many people think about you? it’s so bizarre. imagine someone, out of the blue, thinking of your face. something happens; they remember you. your favorite song, how you dress, the way you talk, the look in your eyes when you are happy. they remember that about you, even if you haven’t seen each other in years. everything in life is a reminder of a person, a place,...